Hard Rock Hotel – what the ravers eat

There is a reason why I have stayed at the Hard Rock Hotel twice already, it’s simple, I like it. There are plenty of suites, has the biggest spa in Ibiza, a couple of pools, it’s close to everything, whilst overlooking the sea – it’s a ravers paradise. With all the calories burnt dancing like you just don’t care, with your hands in the air, nourishment is an essential stepping stone to do it all over again the next day. Room or pool service is a luxury that you need to abuse unforgivingly with a hangover – that we did.

Visit 1.0 September 2016

After a hard nights raving I went for the parma ham pizza with mozzarella and pesto. Pizza with a hangover is generally a happy place for me, but this would give anyone a salt induce face scrunch after the first bite. It was more akin to a salty sea creature than a pizza, water was immediately grabbed. Avoid folks and order something else.

My mate, who was also my boss at the time opted for the nacho’s with all the toppings imaginable. Eating them in 30 degree heat with a raging hangover was the total opposite of comforting. The heat turns them soggy too. If they’re you’re thing, have them in the shade. 

That evening I went for their pretzel burger with Angus beef, red onions, bacon, mayo and manchego cheese. It was wonderful creation that I’d order again in a heartbeat. Get this over the pizza – you’ll thank me for it. 

The chips were dry and unremarkable, but they served a purpose. 

My last meal ordered at their ‘Munchies’ bar was painful, not because of the monumental hangover, but jaw ache I got from those twig like chips and boiled to death hot dog. The salad was as dry as autumn leaves too, what a shame. It cost €20 too with a drink. Avoid folks.  

 

VISIT 2.0 September 2017 

The swoon worthy views do their job of soothing those sore morning eyes, I can tell you that for nothing. The echoes of techno from Ushuaia soon reminds you that you’re on the party capital of the world though! 

Ushuaia..

We couldn’t ask for better views from the balcony.. 

It never gets boring.. 

Pina Colada’s were the order of the day – life doesn’t get any better until you have your second one and get heart burn from all the sugary acid! (Hint, hint!). 

Chicken Caesar salad came with parmesan shavings, iceberg lettuce, croutons and Caesar sauce €17. This one came without Caesar sauce as quite frankly, I think it’s rank! The chicken itself was succulent and did the job of soaking up the booze. 

Room service the next day brought along pappardelle on the wrong side of lukewarm, it doesn’t stop there though as the pasta didn’t require any chewing, nor did the sauce have any flavour. The parmesan tasted like the if was from a cardboard tub too. For €25, I’d expected more. (Sigh). 

Our first sit down meal was at the hotel’s ‘Beach Club’ restaurant. 

The hardly ‘healthy corner!’

Complimentary gazpacho.. 

I’m a sucker for good bread, and here they did it well. The raisin bread certainly tugged on my heart strings, this is why I unashamedly ate at least 6 rolls. 

The beer was a tricky, disjointed clueless affair as they had forgotten about us for an initial 20 minutes, then for another 10 after the 4th call for them. 

Ravioli stuffed with burrata cheese, sun-dried tomato came with a sage and butter emulsion €22. It wasn’t bad to be fair, definite improvement of that tepid pappardelle I had at room service. It taste more like salmon than burrata though!

The burger (€25), I didn’t try, but I’m always suspicions when the patty is swallowed up by the bun and is dry as egg cartons. 

Potato gnocchi with octopus rags €25 is seemingly an obvious choice for me as I love both in general. I couldn’t finish the bowl though as the lack of seasoning and sauce meant the dish didn’t leave first base. 

The last meal..

Getting the “detox” was an obvious for there last drink in Ibiza and at €11 a pop I didn’t care as the orange, mango, basil and ginger concoction was a nourishing thing to behold!

I went for the chicken burger with manchego cheese, with aubergine, bacon, wasabi and soy mayonnaise €15. There was nothing soothing about the dry chicken or bacon for that matter and I couldn’t wait for it be taken away. It came with those dreaded chips again, so dry they could ignite a fire. 

The verdict:

When did I go? September 2016/2017
The damage: Expect to pay €20-€60 (£15-£60) for the food and £350-£600+ per a night for the rooms.
The good: It’s convenient!
The bad: The food is expensive for what it is, options to eat in the local area are limited too, so you’re kinda stuck! Don’t get me started on the drinks service again!
Rating: 2/5 (Food only)
Would I go again? Yes for the hotel – not the food!
Address: Carretera Playa D’en Bossa, s/n, 07817 Sant Jordi de ses Salines, Islas Baleares, Spain
Phone: +34 971 39 67 26
https://www.hrhibiza.com

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